Dubai Pub Crawl

139 Bars and clubs in 6 nights, a drink in each? It can't be done you say. Well you're right, but I thought I'd head to the big city of Dubai and try anyway!

I had bought myself a copy of the January 'What's On' magazine for Dubai and counted all the drinking establishments they had listed, mostly bars in the main hotels plus a few others. I got myself a map, broke it into areas, then made a list of all the bars in each area.

After a quick nap after my nightshift i headed to the doctors to organise a 'mental health day' to add to my long weekend. That done, I hit the road for the 400km, 4-5 hour drive from Muscat. After getting slightly lost entering Dubai I arrived at the youth hostel about 2000.

*The Burj Al Arab 7 Star Hotel

Day 1. (Airport Area) n.b. 1 Omani Rial = 10 UAE Dirhams = 3 AUD First stop the Sofitel Hotel and Churchills Bar. An English style sports bar. A pint of Kilkenny drunk to the sounds of a middle age duo singing mid-80's cover songs.

Le Meridian Hotel next and 3 bars. Firstly Dubliners for a guinness and a few rounds of trivia. Then one of the courtyard bars for a becks and a lie down...I mean a becks and an African band. And finally Jules, the hotel nightclub, where 40 UAE Dirhams buys you entry to a small club where wankers come dressed to the nines to listen to a crap house band....but that's just my opinion! (n.b. most larger hotels have a standard bar, 1 or 2 trendier bars, and a club type bar)

A walk across the road took me to the Millenium airport hotel and the promise of 3 more bars. Biggles was first, where trivia again reigns supreme and the staff wear flight attendant uniforms. I wasted 20 minutes of my life on a bourbon and coke waiting for someone to guess the famous person from these clues _ _ L L _ R Y / _ L I N _ O N. After 4 'unlucky' punters tried and failed, I pretended to be the missing in action Franco so I could end my agony and finish the game. Unfortunately Franco returned from the bathroom to catch me out which was my cue to leave.

As it was getting late I taxied to the Irish village instead of 2 more hotel bars. I downed a couple of Guinnesses at 2 of the bars before closing time and then headed towards the Park Hyatt in the hope of one last drink. I managed to talk my way in and asked the barman to pour me his favorite drink. I took a seat outside by the water which housed several luxury yachts, where I proceeded to drunkenly ring my father and Jon. Thankfully for the rest of you out there I ran out of credit and was unable to recharge it in the UAE for the rest of my stay. My drink arrived, a black mess filled with sambucca and something else which really finished me off for the night!

Total Bars - 8

Day 2. (Deira Area)

Lunch at a noodle bar before a walk around Dubai creek and Deira. Stumbled upon the gold souk where I bought a basic 18 carat gold ring for 220 dirhams to add to my ring collection. However with sightseeing done it was down to business again and off to the Hyatt Regency on the coast and Arabian gulf.

Carpenters bar was small but nice, and had the cricket on t.v. 'The Bar' was the upmarket one with views of the coast and expensive drinks, and the Hibiki Lounge is the Japanese style Karaoke bar. In the Hibiki there was 2 barstaff, 3 apparent regulars and 2 Indian businessmen. After looking through the song list I felt it was my duty to introduce them to Meatloaf and 'Bat out of Hell'...all 6+ minutes of it! After what I'm sure was appreciative laughter, 'I broke out of my body, and flew away......like a bat out of hell'

Next the Raddisson SAS on the creek. Fortunately this place has 5 bars, unfortunately Dubai has 5 million cars...or it seems that way, and it takes forever to get anywhere in a cab!

I finally made it and started at 'The Pub', another Englished themed, and imaginitively named bar, where I had dinner and wondered what this sign on the wall meant? 'Our lager, for easy-going girls, refreshes the parts anyone can reach.'

Pondering this I moved to Ku-bu, funky name, funky looking people. I muscled my way to the bar where I paid too much for a vodka and lemonade. A Turkmenistan lady at the bar asked me what I had in my top pocket as it was bulging. It was the pink box that my ring had come in, which I gave to her as a present, happy to be rid of it. She thanked me, told me she would give it to her daughter and then she unsubtely offered me a similar sounding present! Realising this wasn't a free offer like mine I declined and headed to La Moda, the restaurant bar.

A quick drink then the elevator to the 10th floor and the '10th Floor' a jazz bar with great views of Dubai creek and good music from a jazz trio. Next was marbles, the lobby bar and the quickest drink in history. Dodgy philipino cover band, Kenyan and Russian hookers, and fat, drunk English businessmen!

Sheraton Hotel next and the Chelsea arms, another English pub. Then the Hilton Dubai creek and Issimo, a minimilist type bar. Finally to Champions, a sports bar at the JW Marriott.

Total Bars - 11

Day 3. (Bur Dubai South)

Lunch at the Wafi mall.....in Carters bar.

Walked around the mall for a while then headed the Movenpick Hotel and the promise of 3 more bars. Unfortunately none of them were open so I had to walk around and sightsee.

Back to the Wafi Mall which is in 'Little Egypt', a bunch of pyramid shaped buildings. The shopping festival is on at the momment so most of the malls (33 of them) have entertainment going. Today was Shaolin acrobatic monks and chinese dancers which were very good.

I had an authentic Arabic dinner at Planet Holleywood before a Gin and Tonic at Ginseng, a trendy club in the complex. I didn't manage to get inside the Raffles 5* hotel for a bar search so headed across the road to the Grand Hyatt and the 'Cooz' lounge. Very stylish place with myself the only one wearing denim. I decided to order a Martini to make up for my lack of style although I don't think i fooled anyone.

After 3 long days I opted against the 3 level Mix niteclub and had an early night. Poor form.

Total Bars - 4

Day 4. (Jumeirah Area)

The Big Bus Tour to start the day. I did the blue route along the coast through trendy Jumeirah, home of the Burj Al Arab, the self-proclaimed 7 Star Hotel. It costs $150 US to even get in the door the bus driver said. Therefore the Juna and sky view bars were now definately off the list!

I stopped at the Jumeirah souk (or market) for some shopping before heading to the Mall of the Emirates which houses Ski Dubai, an indoor ski slope.

For 170 dirhams you get 2 hours on the slope. There is a central lift and a T-Bar down one side. There are 2 main runs, a kids learning space, and a small fun area. There is a small half-pipe, 3 rails and a few jumps also. I finished my 2 hours then headed to Apres bar for a cleansing Ale. For interest sake, I had an 'iki', a japanese beer which includes green tea and yuku fruit, weird but nice. (I have loads more photos if any ski enthusiasts out there are interested).

After a bit of shopping in the 3rd largest mall outside Nth America i headed to the 5* Jumeirah beach Hotel for the start of my night out. First I changed into my new shoes and shirt before pretending to be a guest and stowing my backpack in the lobby.

Dhow+Anchor first and a Bulmers cider in yet another British pub. Next was Go West, a western restaurant with a small bar. Then a golf cart ride out to 360 degress, a round restaurant and bar on the end of a walkway extending from the hotel. The views were good however the music was bad house, and the drinks way overpriced.

I then tried Uptown on the 24th floor, It was booked for a privte function though so no luck with that one. I did however manage to infiltrate a party on the hotel lawn where I had my first free drink of the tour. It was a corporate event of some sort, I didn't stick around too long to find out for fear of being caught. I was too early for the hotels nightclub, The Apartment, so headed back to the Jumeirah souk and a list of no less than 7 drinking establishments.

*View of Burj Al Arab from the Jumeirah Souk

BarZar was first for a rum and coke. I wanted to stay for a while and watch some Aussie jazz in Jambase so I decided to run to Leftbank, The Agency and Trader Vics for a quick shot of Tequila each. After this little effort i settled in to jambase for a while over a large glass of red. Unfortunately the band was playing covers however they were still quite good.

I couldn't find the Koubba bar so walked to the Mina a Salam hotel next door and the Bahri Bar. Cocktails were all the rage here so I went for a 'lemon bee', partly because I wanted the lemongrass swizel stick to add to my growing collection I had started pinching from the bars.

Next at Mina was the Nakhuda Bar where I just had to have a Captain Nakhuda. Not sure it was a wise move though as it was some sort of sweet Rum and orange cocktail type thing that nearly sent me over the edge. However I called for some peanuts and a glass of water and soildered on!

It takes 4 weeks to get membership to the Trilogy nightclub in the souk, although you can get entry if you are staying in the Jumeirah beach hotel. With some quick thinking I pulled out my backpack check-in card and did some fast talking. When asked for the hotel keys I told them my wife was down at the Emirates mall with them spending all my money. They asked me what room I was in, I said 101. When one of the 3 big bouncers got on the phone to the hotel I decided to make a subtle departure.

Undefeated though I headed to the Barasti bar at Le meridian Mina Seyahi Hotel. A popular ex-pat hangout on fridays. Waiting in line I was told it was couples night as there is always too many blokes. I saw a group of 1 man, 2 ladies and asked if I could join them. The friendly Dutchwoman Brigete (I think?) grabbed me by the arm and escorted me in. I bought a round of beers and settled in for a chat. Before I knew it my Dutch friends had returned the favour and I had broken my one drink per bar system. Turns out I had 3 beers and 3 spirits here before I roused myself to continue.

The Buddha Bar was next. The music was chilled out but the clientelle were arrogant and loud. I moved to the Oasis Beach Resort and 'Charlie parrots'. The dj was a jamaican guy playing reggae, the theme is tropical with parrots everywhere, therefore I thought a rum would be appropriate to finish the night. I called it stumps at about 0330.

Total bars - 15

Day 5. (Bur Dubai Nth)

A late start today. A shitty weather day with a strong, cold wind blowing sand everywhere. I thought I would take the free Dhow cruise along the river, (an extra from the bus tour ticket), however it was too rough to go ahead. Instead I took an abra (boat) ride across the river for 1 dirham which included a free shower from the rivers spray!

I walked around for a while aiming for the Dubai museum. Along the way I found Pancho Villas for a nacho lunch and tequila, and the Arabian Court Hotel and the Sherlock Holmes bar for a scotch and coke. The museum was next door to the Arabian Court and I spent an enjoyable hour wandering through the old fort and attached gallery.

I strolled round town for the afternoon before heading to Rydges Plaza Hotel and Aussie legends bar where i drank a VB tinnie. I decided against the 2 other bars in the hotel and instead headed to Waxy O'connors, a small, dingy Irish bar packed with idiots, drunken dancing to loud + crappy music. The majority of the bars in Dubai still allow smoking, and Waxy's was one big fog cloud of smoke.

Next was the Boston Bar at the Jumeirah Rotana Hotel. This bar is supposed to be based on the bar in Cheers, however apart from a central bar, I couldn't see much resemblance.....and no-one seemed to know my name! The place was packed, and I was a fading fast, so i decided on the movies instead. Another poor effort but it had been a big few days.

Total Bars - 5

I knew it was time to leave Dubai after I had sat through 2 long hours of Rocky IV...(hey it was that or Predator vs Alien 2)....and returned back to the hostel to 4 arabs snoring their heads off in my dorm room.

Grand Total of bars - 43

Swizel sticks swindled - 10

Matches - 5

Bottle openers - 2

Toothpick - 1

Dental Floss - 1 packet

Hangovers - 5

Now I'm not advocating this method of tourism, however walking from bar to bar is a good way to see the city. I also met a lot of interesting people in the various bars and clubs.

This week I am drinking water and eating salads.....!